Job hunting update

The past few months have been a roller coaster and extremely humbling. At the start of this process, looking to find a new role, I might have even been a little cocky. Despite being let go as part of a large restructuring I truly felt like I was good at being a software engineer and that a good company would see that and things would work out.

With that mindset I took my time and only applied to a couple of companies as I wasn’t in a hurry to go back to work. Later this year I had my second sabbatical scheduled with some plans made for it. Seeing as that wasn’t going to happen anymore I felt like I could take a break and go at the search a little slowly, but still applying to promising roles.

For the past month now I’ve felt like I’ve had my break and I’ve been more serious about finding my next company. This is my first time in over ten years looking for a new job and things have certainly changed in that time. Maybe it’s partly that I’m only looking for remote roles, but I don’t think so. For the most part everything has seemed so impersonal. Even when I set my sights on Automattic way back I was able to seek out and have conversations with people there. While I’ve done some of that for companies that are high on my list, it feels harder than ever to make that personal connection.

The whole process is a strange paradigm and anxiety building. So many applications just seem to go into the void never to hear back from. I wake up each morning hoping to hear something. Then when I do and it is a rejection it is so deflating and I question, what’s better? Not knowing but still able to keep some hope, or no it’s over? It’s certainly better to know, but each time it’s still hard.

There have only been three companies so far where I’ve really felt like they’ve taken care in the hiring process. It’s not surprising that these three were the companies I was most excited about working for. Just this morning I received a kind and personal rejection email for a role I was so excited about. I knew it was a long shot, but they are a great company and I really felt like we’d fit well together. Knowing is better, but waking up to that message has left me down for the day.

Given the nature of job roles at my last company, there were no levels or separating titles, it has makes it hard to know where I fall in the market. When I started applying I thought I’d be a Senior Software Engineer. Maybe I’m only at the Intermediate level currently.

It got to the point last week that I was going to start applying for technical support roles again as I know where I stand there. I’m confident in my ability there. Contemplating things I remembered a conversation I had in one of my last 1:1 meetings with my last lead. After describing my progress on a project I was working on she said, you really like being a developer don’t you? She is absolutely right. I love it.

For probably over 20 years I’ve been building websites and applications on the web. While it wasn’t always my full time career, and I took a long break where I didn’t do much at all, I’m passionate about it. Since coming back to it full time over 4 years ago in a professional environment I’ve really updated my skills and learned lots. There’s always more to learn of course, and that’s one of the reasons I do love it.

One of the things that has kept me from really sinking is talking with past colleagues and re-reading the recommendations and nice things they’ve said about me. While I may not be at the Senior level, I really think I’m close, and I know once I find the right role I’ll close any gaps that there may be. So I’m not going to change tracks yet and I’m going to do my best to stay optimistic that I’ll find the right role for me at a great company.