Failure

Feeling an overwhelming sense of failure these days. I’m generally ok with failure and making mistakes. Failing is a leaning opportunity.

Most of the time though there are there is usually a mix in my life. Some areas where I feel I’m succeeding but others not so much. This is ok I can concentrate on the things going well and make effort to fix the areas I’m failing. 

Right now I’m having a hard time seeing the successes. Parenting, career, health, finances, all of these areas of my life which need serious work. 

Overall I know my life is privileged which makes me failing in these areas all the more painful. 

A New Person, New Attitude, and New Goals

A New Person, New Attitude, and New Goals

Seven and a half months of hard work and change have finally paid off. This morning when I weighed myself I’ve finally hit my goal.

My weight is now 178 lbs which means two things, I’ve lost a total of 80 lbs and my BMI is now in the healthy range.

See where I was and where I am now.

We all know the physical benefits of losing weight, so I’m not going to talk about them here, I’m going to talk about the way this has changed me mentally.

Over the years I’ve accomplished a number of thing which weren’t easy to do. Things I had to set my mind to and work hard at to achieve. A couple of big difficult ones were quitting smoking and going back to school with a large family to take Computer Science. Neither of those tasks were as difficult as this. Yes the degree took four years of work to get, but it’s over now, no one can take my degree away from me. At any point I could put this weight back on if I’m not careful.

There is something about setting a goal like this for your self and then having to battle to get it. Besides the self confidence I’ve gained just by looking better and being in better health, the act of reaching the goal brings a lot of that as well. It’s reaffirmed for me the fact that if I put my mind to something, and work for it, I can get there.

Of course none of the accomplishments I’ve mentioned can I take full credit for. My wife and family have been with me through all of them. They’ve put up with me when I’ve been cranky and tired, and helped motivate me to keep going. That will be the same in any goal I set. Knowing I have their support, no matter what, makes chasing my dreams that much easier.

With my new self esteem I’ve realized something else, I’m not done yet. Not just health wise, that is going to be a life long goal I work at now. My weight is where I want it but I can still be a lot more fit in general. Now I can look at the other aspects of my life and set goals for them to make them even better.

The most important part of my life is my family so what I really want to do is improve my family life. I believe I’ve identified four key areas I need to focus on to do this.

Health: Was/is part of that. I wanted to make sure that I would live a long healthy life in which I can play and help my family.

Time: Making the time to be there for them, to support them like they have me. Time to play with them, talk with them, just to be there with them.

Finances: I want to be able to ensure we always have everything we need and not need to worry and fret about money. That just takes energy away from enjoying my family.

Happiness: This is something else I’ve learned during this. I am responsible for my own happiness. I wasn’t happy with the way I was, now I am. I need to continue to make sure I’m happy so that the time I do spend with my family is positive. To do┬áthis I will be making sure I spend my time doing things I truly enjoy, staying challenged, and helping others. These are all examples of things keep me happy which in return I can pass it on to my family.

These are the areas I’ll be working on for the foreseeable future. They are all intermingled. As I’m working at some, the others will fall into place. I’m determined and I have a renewed self confidence that I can attain my goals.

Just because I’ve reached one of my big goals doesn’t mean it’s time to sit back, now is the time for me to keep pushing and make more progress in these other areas of life. Lets Go!