Stupidity and Laziness

Back in August 2014 I had reached a big milestone after a lot of hard work. I was so proud of myself and swore I would never go back. At that time I reached my goal weight of under 180lbs after months of hard work and dedication. Things went up and down from there but for a long time I stayed in pretty decent shape. In March 2016 I ran my longest distance ever, 20km. Since then though I’ve been on a pretty steady decline health wise and really broke the promise to myself. I’m getting pretty close to having put back on all the weight I worked so hard to lose in 2014.

For the past bit I’ve been in a pretty big funk, not myself, unhappy. This is a big part of that, though there are other factors of course. Most of them are beyond my control, but my health is solely mine to control. How could I be so stupid and lazy?

Today I went on the incredibly demoralizing task of organizing my closet. Over the past few months I’ve been slowly buying new clothes that fit because I’ve gotten too fat for the ones I had. My closet was getting overrun with clothes because I still had all the clothes that I should fit in but they were making their way to the back of the closet. So today I moved everything out that I no longer fit in and put them into storage under the bed. Time for things to change, again.

Instead of just keeping up with a pretty healthy eating plan and exercise I reverted back to my old ways and now need to go through all the hard work again. Of course as I get older that will likely be even harder than it was almost four years ago.

Last time I blogged and shared on social media constantly about my progress, how far I ran today etc. I won’t put people through that again, especially because it isn’t nearly as meaningful the second time around, but I’ll work hard anyway. I’ve ordered myself a new Fitbit to help me track progress and keep my honest. Last time that sort of tracking was really motivational, I just won’t publicize it so much.

So I’m getting started, again, and hopefully I’ll finally be smart enough to get off this weight roller coaster I’ve been on permanently.

Saving Money

Besides vacations it’s been years since I’ve purposely set aside money to save for something I’ve wanted. It’s always been much easier to somehow justify and throw it on a credit card and worry about paying it off afterwards. 

Luckily for the most part I don’t usually  spend much money on myself, but I do have my moments and when I do it’s usually something more expensive than a small treat.

Starting tonight I’m going to try an experiment and stop that. When I look at my life there is absolutely nothing I need, so I’m going to stop spending money on my wants and instead put money away for something specific. 

When we were in Park City one of the most enjoyable things I did was go for a bike tour. It had been years since I’d been on a bike, but in my younger years I did bike a lot. A number of years back now I purchased a bike again with the intent on using it to lose weight and excersise.

The bike was cheap and not even the right size for me. One of my very first rides on it had me over the handle bars because things weren’t tight enough and when I turned the wheel didn’t turn with me. That and being very overweight made it awkward and really hurt my rear so I almost never rode it. 

Yesterday I took it out for a spin and things are seized so the brakes don’t work well and I can’t switch into most of the gears. Even with that I still had fun though. Having lost weight it doesn’t hurt by butt nearly as much. 

While I was away though I got it in my head that I was going to buy myself a new half decent bike. The day before yesterday I went down to the local bike shop to talk to them about what I was looking for and price point. It looked like we found something they had in stock that would work but more expensive that I was looking for so I walked away. Turns out that was a good thing. 

Right before I left for the meetup I had taken the car into get an oil change and checked over but it needed more work. So I left it at my mechanics while I was gone so he could take care of it. Today I went to pick it up and found out how much I owed. There goes my bike for now. 

That and other conversations got me thinking. As an experiment I’m going to stop buying any of the extra things I want, or treats I might see and start actively putting that money away to save for a new bike. That way maybe in the spring I’ll have saved a fair amount to put towards it just in time to enjoy it. 

As there aren’t many things I treat myself on the one big thing I see is coffee. I drink a lot of coffee so after I run out here at home I’m going to give it up and start saving that money instead. But there are other times where I’ll randomly buy myself something I don’t really need as well, that will stop too. 

I figure this will do a couple things. One it will start getting me back into a more disaplined state with money, and when I do buy the bike I won’t feel guilty about it because it will be like I earned it.