Stupidity and Laziness

Back in August 2014 I had reached a big milestone after a lot of hard work. I was so proud of myself and swore I would never go back. At that time I reached my goal weight of under 180lbs after months of hard work and dedication. Things went up and down from there but for a long time I stayed in pretty decent shape. In March 2016 I ran my longest distance ever, 20km. Since then though I’ve been on a pretty steady decline health wise and really broke the promise to myself. I’m getting pretty close to having put back on all the weight I worked so hard to lose in 2014.

For the past bit I’ve been in a pretty big funk, not myself, unhappy. This is a big part of that, though there are other factors of course. Most of them are beyond my control, but my health is solely mine to control. How could I be so stupid and lazy?

Today I went on the incredibly demoralizing task of organizing my closet. Over the past few months I’ve been slowly buying new clothes that fit because I’ve gotten too fat for the ones I had. My closet was getting overrun with clothes because I still had all the clothes that I should fit in but they were making their way to the back of the closet. So today I moved everything out that I no longer fit in and put them into storage under the bed. Time for things to change, again.

Instead of just keeping up with a pretty healthy eating plan and exercise I reverted back to my old ways and now need to go through all the hard work again. Of course as I get older that will likely be even harder than it was almost four years ago.

Last time I blogged and shared on social media constantly about my progress, how far I ran today etc. I won’t put people through that again, especially because it isn’t nearly as meaningful the second time around, but I’ll work hard anyway. I’ve ordered myself a new Fitbit to help me track progress and keep my honest. Last time that sort of tracking was really motivational, I just won’t publicize it so much.

So I’m getting started, again, and hopefully I’ll finally be smart enough to get off this weight roller coaster I’ve been on permanently.

FFF Final Update

February is over which means this will be the final update for my Fight Fat February challenge. This week  was rough my knee had been bothering me some, I lapsed in my eating habits, and my weight actually started to go up!

Food

Really I was good over the whole month for eating. I had a couple days where I lapsed but I don’t think with the level of working out I was doing that shouldn’t have been enough to cause my weight to go up. That was my thought process, but I was obviously wrong. I don’t really think it was the little bit of extra snacking I did though. I made the black bean chili I made in the first week and had it for my lunches this week. My guess is that because I was at the end and pretty much at my goal weight I was eating to much of the chili. Portions were the same as the first week, but it was probably too much.

Five Fitness Workouts

For the last week I was able to get in all five of the workouts I wanted to. About mid week though I switched it up from doing the Ripped in 30 to doing cardio workouts from Jillian Michaels Body Revolution.

Forty Kilometers

My running went awesome this week. Was able to get in a total of 45km even with the sore knee. I also had some really fast runs, for me anyway. On Sunday I did a personal best on 10k with a pace of 5:15 min/km which is awesome. There were also another two 10k runs that were in my top four fastest and my fastest 5k since back in 2014 as well.

fast-runs

Fifteen Pounds

Around midweek I was actually up a couple pounds and was really worried. On Friday even it was showing 185lbs which was up two from the beginning of the week. After switching up lunches, and switching to the cardio workouts instead, along with keeping up the running I managed to hit my goal. This morning on the scale I was 182lbs which means I dropped 15lbs exactly in February!

goal-weight

FFF Week Three Update

For week three of my Fight Fat February I had a couple slight setbacks. Nothing super major, but a little disappointed about one day in particular. Thursday this week had me off my game.

Food

For the most part food was still pretty good. There was one day I planned for that Jen and I went out for lunch and I ended up ordering a club sandwich. I did opt for the salad instead of fries but there were still quite a few more calories involved then my typical lunches.

Thursday night, which was my off day, I ended up having my usual night snack of a yogurt. When that was done I added a helping of nacho dip and chips. Because that obviously wasn’t enough I finished off the night with a blueberry bagel. Not good choices and even with Jen reminding me I would not be happy with myself I kept going.

Five Fitness Workouts

Reading back over week one and two I realized I’ve been saying I’m working out with Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. It is in fact her Ripped in 30 program I’ve been doing. This is week three now and I don’t believe I made it this far with this series before. This one I missed my goal on this week. On Wednesday I was pretty sore and tired so I decided I was going to take the day off and do Saturday instead. That would still give me my five workouts and would have been fine. But then Thursday happened and I flaked on my workout as well as stuffed my face.

I despise the fact that I’m still letting my emotions dictate my eating and activity levels.

Forty Kilometers

This is the one area that I really kept up with this week. In fact after taking both Wednesday and Thursday off from working out on Friday I was able to do my fastest 10k run since late 2014. If I hadn’t ran through a busy area at dinner time causing me to get stuck at red lights and crosswalks I would have creamed my personal 10k record from back then. That Friday run also put me to 40k for the week.

Fifteen Pounds

Even though I messed up on eating and only completed four workouts during the week the weight loss still turned out OK. From 187lbs I am down to 183lbs. That four pounds puts me at 14lbs all together. So close to the fifteen goal and I still have one last week to go! If I could pull another 5lbs in this last week it will put me at 178lbs which puts my BMI in the normal zone. No longer would I be classified as overweight. Not sure I can do another week of 5lbs lost and I won’t be disappointed if that doesn’t happen.

FFF Week Two Update

This is my second week update for my Fight Fat February month and things are still on the right track.

Food

Food went again this week. My usual breakfast, but switched up lunch. Most of the week I had a spinach salad. Stuck with the same snacks, carrots, apples, and yogurts. Again had the same dinners as the rest of the family, we even had cheese burgers one night!

Five Fitness Workouts

Moved on to week two of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. This week is a lot tougher than the first. I had to take a break one night during the week so I did Saturday night as well to get my five in for the week.

Forty Kilometers

We had some rough weather the beginning of the week that kept me from getting out running so it made the rest of the week tougher between the sidewalks and running so many days in a row. However with a 9km run on Saturday it took me to 40km even.

Fifteen Pounds

This week ended up being a surprise to me that this goal went as well as it did. I’m down another five pounds. That’s down to 187lbs and 10lbs total in the two weeks. Only 5lbs to go in the next two weeks.

FFF Week One Update

This is my first week update for my Fight Fat February month and so far so good.

Food

All week I ate very well. Breakfast and lunch were pretty standard. I typically have granola and yogurt for breakfast. For lunches this week I made a black bean chilli and ate it a bunch this week. I had a few small snacks throughout most days. Usually something like an apple or carrot sticks. For dinner I just ate what ever the family was eating, making sure to have proper servings.

Five Fitness Workouts

Monday through Friday each night I did the first week of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. It was rough at first but by Friday it was getting better.

Forty Kilometers

This week I ran 45km! Five days of 9km each. One day was really rainy and I was drenched by the end but it was still fun.

Fifteen Pounds

So far so good on this front too. I’m down five pounds so far. That’s down to 192lbs. The first week of pushing always seems to be the easiest for weight to come off, but if I keep pushing it I’m in good shape to hit the 15lbs lost.

Fight Fat February

For the past little while I’ve been doing pretty good health wise. I’m been running quite a bit and usually eating well. There have been some setbacks in eating though where I for about a week recently regressed and ate way to many snacks especially at night. So far though the scale has been going in the right direction, even though if it has been slower than I like.

In the spirit of 30 challenges I’m going to make February my Fight Fat month. There is still some weight to before I’m happy so I want to set out a series of goals for this month which will hopefully end me up where I want to be. They are going to be ambitious goals and there are some especially that I’m scared already I won’t be able to do, but we’ll see how it goes.

Food

The first thing is food. I’m going to do my best to eat healthy for the whole month, with no snacking on junk. Also make sure my serving sizes are proper portions. This should be one of the easier ones for me to hit. As long as I stick my mind to it I can usually do good at eating well.

Five Fitness Workouts

Starting a workout program again and aim to do it at least five days a week. Jillian Michaels has always served me well so I’m starting with her Ripped in 30 series. I like it because I can do it in my house and all I need are some hand held dumbbells and my own body.

Forty Kilometers

This is the one I’m most scared for. My goal is to run forty kilometers each week for the month. I have done it a couple weeks, but my legs get sore and tie it in with the other work outs, not sure I can keep up this distance each week for the whole time. I’m going to try though.

Fifteen Pounds

By sticking to these other goals, I’m hoping the end results will see me down the last 15 lbs that I want to lose. That will put me basically at the healthy BMI for my height. Even though I know that isn’t a perfect indicator I felt very good the last time I was there and want to get back to it.

So far, one full day in and I’m on track to hit my targets ūüôā Even though February is a short month there is still a long way to go. I haven’t done well at hitting these goals I’ve set for my self the past little bit so I’m going to work especially hard this time to make it happen. Wish me luck!

Making Progress

If there is one thing I can take away from today is that I finally think I’m making progress. For the past couple weeks the scale has been seeing a steady decline, although not huge. I’m putting in lots of km’s running, and tracking my calories has helped me stay on top of my eating. But this isn’t the main progress I’m pleased about right today.

For some reason today I woke up with a poor attitude. Without even knowing the reason I’ve just felt down all day. These days happen sometimes and they go away fairly quickly thankfully. Normally when these days happen though my default to get through them is by eating. Eating a pile of food that is not good for me and not needed. In the end it always makes things worse because then I feel down about all the food I just ate for no good reason.

Today, even though I still feel the same way, I stuck to eating the way I should. Just a few minutes ago I came very close to grabbing a bag of chips along with a homemade muffin and cookies, but instead I grabbed a little container of yogurt and am now done eating for the day.

The plan is to wake up tomorrow feeling like myself and make sure I force myself out for a run, as that in itself has a way of clearing my head and making me feel better. All the while keeping my eating in check so the progress can continue.

Fitbit Observations

So far I’ve been wearing my Fitbit for almost three weeks and have come up with a few interesting observations about it. For the most part I really enjoy tracking everything and having a record, but at the same time there have been parts which have been depressing.

My water intake is really good, I drink plenty each day without even trying. I get more sleep than I thought I did, but I’m not confident in the awake restless times it tracks. It could be something that is built into me from all those years of pretending I was still asleep in the morning so I could get five more minutes before school. Now I’m so good at it Fitbit can’t tell I’m really awake.

There have been a few instances where the GPS when tracking runs has been off by a bit, but nothing enough or frequently enough that will stop me from going to it only for tracking my runs soon.

The biggest observation which I’ve make that is depressing is the lack of movement I do in the run of a day if I don’t specifically force myself to do something extra. Most days I’ll go for a run. A 5k run typically takes me about 30 minutes and I get about 5000 steps in during that time. The rest of the day combined, especially on days I’m working, I struggle to get that other half by the end of the day. If I don’t run it is almost impossible.¬† The other thing is it is far to easy for me to go grab something extra to eat that I don’t really need.

If I don’t watch myself every single day and be extra vigilant it is now very easy to see why my weight can go up so quickly. Since starting to track I haven’t really lost any weight, but I haven’t gone up either. To get down to where I want to be I’m going to have to cut out the snacks all together and focus on moving even more. It’s probably about time Jillian Michaels and I get reacquainted again.

Week Four Summary

This has been a rough week. Typically I check in on the scales to see how I’m doing throughout the week to make sure I’m on the right track. This week when I checked in I was actually up a considerable amount. This had me feeling very down and unmotivated.

Up until that point in the week I was still doing great with my eating and exercise and yet somehow the scale had me up over 3lbs from what I weighed in at last week. I let this get the better of me. I let me eating slip a bit. Not much but I did give in and have a few treats that normally I would have stayed away from. I also skipped two of my evening workouts as my desire and drive were way down, and especially at night all I wanted to do was lie on the couch.

Luckily I was able to keep going with my running and even had a great win yesterday and was able to go the full 10k I wanted to. When I was back from that run the scale actually showed me at 200lbs which would have been down 1lb on the week. That is far from what I was looking for but still better than where I was mid week. To bad my weigh in day wasn’t yesterday morning because today I was at the same spot I was last week.

Results:

Last week: 201lbs
Now: 201lbs
Lost: 0lbs

It’s obviously better than going up but still makes me feel really crappy. Starting at 216lbs and being four weeks in I’m now officially behind on my goal of 3.8lbs per week. Realistically I know I need to look at the big picture and the fact that since mid July I’m down 25lbs and 15lbs in the last four weeks, but it’s hard especially when I can’t point to something that I know I did wrong the beginning of this week.

run